Crude

Unless you’ve been on a Rock Star drug binge or just refused to leave your parents fucking basement for the last month or so you might have noticed a small snippit on the newstubes about a tiny lil’ problem we’re having in the Gulf of Mexico.

Now, there have been some fuck ups over the course of the years:

“I am not a crook.”
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
“Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed.”
“…Spread the wealth around.”

But this latest blunder just might take the cake of all it’s predecors combined.

https://web.archive.org/web/20100623030500/http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5hfQ62qTEIbRH__q_rUMpzykNDtkQ

The largest, man made, ecological disaster, in history period. PERIOD. And the two men responsible for at least maintaining the ILLUSION of competence are both found participating in two of the most elitist activities that easily come to mind. Honestly the only thing that could have topped golf and mother fucking yacht racing, would have been toasting each other on a job well done at a wine tasting after a god damned polo match.

Now, no man is infallible. We all have our character flaws. But for FUCKS SAKES guys, could you have at least spent the weekend behind heavy curtains and closed doors, surfing the net, fapping to oiled up, hot, young, endanger wild life at the beach you’ve managed to ruin or something? Could you have done ANYTHING a little less flamboyant like watch the damn Laker’s game or something where no one else could say shit?

Talk about a PR blunder.

Anyway to clear all this up: I suggest BP at least offer coupons for free oil changes or something. Yeah that wouldn’t be so bad. Just drive your car anywhere along the coast and one of the 30,000+ people they’ve hired to help clean up will be happy to put some of that sweet black gold in your engine, once they’ve scraped it off the dead dolphins.

Nexius